How to Use an Alien Egg Dildo

Greetings, brave Earthlings! Are you tired of the same old earthly delights? Are you ready to boldly go where few have gone before in the realm of erotic exploration? Well, strap in and get ready for lift-off because we're about to embark on an interstellar journey with the alien egg dildo. This otherworldly sex toy will catapult your carnal escapades into the furthest reaches of the cosmos.

In this guide, we will explain everything you need to know about alien dildos from what these unique sex toys are to how to use one for alien breeding and bonking.

Alien Egg Dildo: What in the Name of the Galactic Federation is That?

If you've stumbled upon this article, you're likely one of two people: the curious wanderer who's always up for trying new things or the panicked individual who was gifted an alien egg dildo at a party and has no clue how to use it. Fear not, fellow extraterrestrial explorers! We're here to help you unlock the mysteries of the universe – or at least, the mysteries of this bizarre but intriguing sex toy.

Alien egg dildos, or ovipositor dildos as they are also called, are phallic-shaped toys designed to simulate the sensation of being impregnated by an extraterrestrial being. That’s right, these cosmic contraptions allow you to pound away at yourself like a regular dildo before laying "eggs" inside your body. This allows you to play out all kinds of alien fantasies from being abducted for an alien breeding programme on a faraway planet to engaging in passionate trysts with sexy aliens like Captain Kirk.

Alien egg dildos are usually made from body-safe silicone so you can enjoy your intergalactic orgasms without risking any interbody hygiene issues.

A Guide to the Stars: How to Use Your Alien Egg Dildo

So, you've got your Alien Egg Dildo, your eggs, and enough lube to keep a small moon slick for a year. 

Then it’s time to follow these steps for a close encounter of the sensual kind:

1. Prepare the eggs 

If your alien egg dildo comes with silicone eggs then you can skip this step. However, most alien egg dildos require you to make the eggs yourself. If this is the case, mix the gelatine or other dissolvable substance according to the manufacturer's instructions. Pour the mixture into the provided moulds and let them set. Once they're ready, pop them out of the moulds and store them in the fridge until you're ready to use them. Don't be afraid to get creative with your egg concoctions! You can try different flavours and colours and even add glitter for an interstellar sparkle.

2. Set the mood 

Light some candles, put on your favourite space-themed playlist, dim the lights and turn on your constellation night light. It's time to channel your inner Captain Kirk (or Captain Janeway, if that's more your style).

3. Lube up 

Apply a generous amount of lube to both the alien egg dildo and the egg. Don't be shy – this is a zero-gravity environment so you want to create a frictionless space vacuum.

4 Load the eggs 

Slide the egg into the hollow chamber of the alien egg dildo. Depending on the model, you may be able to fit more than one egg at a time. If so, load up your spaceship and prepare for a multiple-egg mission!

5. Engage warp drive 

Insert the alien egg dildo into your desired orifice. Remember, communication is key in any space exploration, so listen to your body and adjust the course and warp speed accordingly.

6. Release the eggs 

Gently squeeze the alien egg dildo, using steady pressure to propel the eggs into your body. You may feel a slight resistance followed by a satisfying "pop" as the egg enters you. Congratulations, you've just been oviposited!

7. Touchdown

Once the gelatine eggs have fully dissolved and you've reached your final destination (wink wink), gently remove the alien egg dildo. Wash thoroughly and give yourself a pat on the back for a successful space mission. 

8. Clean your space weapon

 Always clean your alien egg dildo and eggs thoroughly before and after each use. You don't want any uninvited extraterrestrial microbes crashing your party. 

Final Thoughts

There you have it, space cadets – your comprehensive guide on how to use an alien egg dildo. Now that you're armed with this intergalactic knowledge, you're ready to embark on your own erotic odyssey. Just remember: the universe is vast and full of wonders, so keep exploring, experimenting, and most importantly, enjoying the ride! May the force be with you as you live long and prosper (apologies to Sci-Fi fans)!