A Guide to the Weirdest Dildos of 2023

Welcome, intrepid pleasure-seekers, to the bold and bizarre bazaar of bawdy bewilderment! If you think you've seen it all when it comes to adult toys, strap in (or on) and prepare to have your mind (and other parts) blown. In this guide to the weirdest dildos of 2023, we'll uncover the wildest, wackiest, and most "WTF?" worthy toys that have slithered, buzzed and poked their way into the world of erotic innovation. 

So with no further adieu, let the freaky phallic fun begin!

1. Errol Mars Red Dragon Dildo

The Mars Red Dragon Dildo range has provided some of our favourite dragon dildos of recent years. It comes as no surprise then that one of their 2023 releases, The Errol Mars Red Dragon Dildo, is a monstrous masterpiece of erotic engineering that could make even Daenerys Targaryen blush. This titillating terror features a unique design – a tongue lasciviously lapping out of a monstrous lion's head suction cup base, as if it is daring you to take it on. 

With a formidable 20.5cm length and a gasp-inducing 8cm diameter, this beast of a toy is not for the faint of heart. Its stunning black and red colour scheme, along with a delightfully bumpy, knotted texture, promises to take you on an otherworldly journey of dragon-slaying delight. A serious sex toy that will stretch your imagination and your orifices to their absolute limits.

weird red dragon dildo


2. Ghidorah Deep Pink Dragon Dildo

Next on our lustful list of 2023’s peculiar playthings is the Ghidorah Deep Pink Dragon Dildo, a candy-coloured confection that is equal parts cute and carnal. Don't be fooled by its deceptively sweet appearance; this darling dragon is all about delivering divine pleasure. The unique leaf-ribbed texture and ultra-pointed tip create a tantalising sensation that's sure to have you roaring for more. 

Sporting a giant double knot on the suction cup base for ultra-stretching goodness, the Ghidorah measures in at a versatile 18.5cm x 4.7cm, making it the perfect dildo for users of all levels – from innocent nymphs to seasoned sirens. The Deep Pink range is one of our favourites for sure and the Ghidorah is a really stunning toy that is set to take 2023 by storm!

weird pink dragon dildo


3. Leviathan Ophidian Dragon Dildo

The Leviathan Ophidian Dragon Dildo really understood the assignment when we were looking for the weirdest(!) dildos of 2023. The

range is known for its out-there designs but this one took even us by surprise! Imagine, if you will, a forbidden love affair between a cluster of grapes and a serpent from the depths of hell, and you might begin to grasp the sheer strangeness of this magnificent monster. With a 19.5cm length, the Leviathan boasts a design that resembles bunches of grapes piled atop one another, gradually growing wider towards the base to deliver a deliciously deep, hole-stretching experience. 

Its burnt green and orange colour scheme adds an otherworldly touch to this already-unearthly dildo, while the liquid silicone material ensures a silky smooth ride. A bizarre creation that defies all expectations both in looks and performance! 

weird Ophidian Dragon Dildo


4. Simon Chocolate Canine Dildo

Last but certainly not least, we have the latest release from the awesome Chocolate Canine collection – the Simon Chocolate Canine Dildo. This massive, knotted wonder is not for the timid, but for those who dare to tangle with it, an unforgettable canine dildo adventure awaits. The spiral-textured shaft resembles a Christmas tree, ready to bring the gift of unbridled ecstasy to all who dare to unwrap it (or stick it in their stocking). 

Measuring in at a staggering 23cm in length and 7.4cm in diameter at its widest point, the Simon Chocolate Canine Dildo is the stuff of carnal legend. The giant double knot at the base serves as both a thrilling challenge and a testament to your own sexual prowess, while the suction cup base allows for a wild romp without restraint. And with the Chocolate Canine range's signature colours, you'll have a stunningly sinful showpiece to add to your collection.

weird canine dildo


Final Thoughts

We hope you've enjoyed this saucy safari into the carnal cavalcade of 2023’s most peculiar playthings. It has really been an amazing year already with all of the big boys releasing new toys that have got fantasy dildo lovers around the world uber-excited. So remember, whether you're a seasoned kinkster or just dipping your toes into the realm of risqué recreation, the world of pleasure is vast, varied, and oh-so-very weird – so go forth, be bold and let your freak flag fly!